we had our baby!

I didn't get to finish out my final week of work 'cuz we had a "broken amniotic sac" scare on Wednesday the 18th. I went to my regularly scheduled doc's appointment with Heather and was told that I needed to check into Sutter because some PH strip test indicated that my water had broken.

I wasn't dilated at all, so the doc wanted to induce labor with something called cervadil (a strip they place behind the cervix to soften it and prep it for labor).

We checked in around 5pm and happily waited for the process to begin -- Heather and I even played a leisurely game of Landlord to help pass the time.

Around 3am, I really started feeling some serious contractions that were about 2-3 minutes apart. But later in the morning -- around 5am -- the nurse came in and said that she did *not* think the water had broken because I still was not dilated much and when she checked my cervix, she said that she felt the baby's head "float away!"

So, the doc came and took an ultrasound and found that there were indeed plenty of fluid pockets around little Dylan, so I was discharged around 10am and told to come back when the urge really hit!

Tom and I went home, but by now, my contractions were really pretty regular and continuing to come less than 5 minutes apart. We were told that this might be a residual effect of the cervadil and that I should expect either (a) the cervadil to really kick off labor or (b)the contractions to get further spaced out and less intense.

So, either cervadil really kicked off labor, or I was about ripe to go into it already because at 3PM, shortly after getting off the phone with H., my water realy did break, in that dramatic and gushing way!

To be certain that this time was really IT, the doc had me come into her office and they did another ultrasound and checked the fluid in the lab to ensure that what was leaking outta me was indeed amniotic fluid. The ultrasound showed that there was still a lot of fluid around baby Dyl, but it was also confirmed that the water had really broken, so back we went to Sutter, only 6 hours after we'd been initially discharged!

The re-admission to Sutter turned out to be fortunate, though. This time, I got a room with a hot tub which I ended up using (and being grateful for) while in labor.

The doc came around maybe 6pm or so to break the sac and empty out the remaining fluid to hasten the labor process, and after this, I lost track of time.

I know Tom and I ended up ordering a dinner of a baked potato and some veggies. I ate the potato more because I knew I'd need the energy than because I wanted to eat!

The contractions at this point were pretty strong and getting more intense, so that's when the nurse asked if I wanted to try the tub.

Shortly after (I think), Heather showed up...and then Cindy did, too, and they were absolutely the most incredible trio (Tom, H. and Cindy) of labor support that ever a person could have! They massaged my legs and shoulders and offered encouragement the entire time. Even though I was in a haze of absolute pain, I knew they were there and I definitely appreciated all of the massage.

Anyway, I went in all intent to go without any pain medication, but sitting in that tub, waiting for each contraction to pass and having the majority of my awareness focused on moments of contraction and the brief respite of non-contraction, I realized I was about to spin out of control. My limbs were tingling and I felt like I was too close to hyperventilating for even my own comfort. Given my pain now, I wasn't sure that I would be able to withstand the transition period, when the contractions would be at their most extreme. And, so, I asked for the epidural.

When I climbed out of the tub to get ready for the epidural, the waves of pain doubled. I could barely hold myself up to stand and instead had to rely on Tom to hold me up. I sat down at the edge of the bed when the anaestheseologist arrived and leaned as far forward as I possibly could. Now, I was thinking about what could happen if he missed the proper insertion point, so every time I felt a contraction coming on, I felt the need to inform everyone.

The anaestheseologist was obviously a seasoned pro (even though he looked pretty young). He managed to get the epidural in and he gave me an intrathecal for immediate pain relief as well.

I immediately felt relief. All of a sudden, I could have conversations with everyone in the room again, and I could actually focus on what was happening around me.

The monitors indicated I was having contractions, but I felt only a little bit of pressure, nothing more.

I was actually able to smile.

I was given a button to control my dosage of the epidural and was told that the intrathecal would wear off in 2 hours and, at that point, I could start the epi with the push of the button. The initial drip was slow, but if I needed more, I could just keep pushing the button. The button had a max level set, too, so there was no chance I could overdo it.

Everyone suggested this was the time to get some rest before the big pushing came, so Cindy and Heather left the room to hang out, I closed my eyes, and Tom crashed out on the sofa bed in the room.

After a time, a new nurse came in and told me that we would practice pushing before the doc came in.

I was obviously not very adept at it because she told me I would probably get the hang of it as time went on.

She talked to me about running (she's running her first half-marathon in Nisene Marks soon)...

Then, the doc arrived and we continued to push.

I managed to push 3-5 times per contraction and although everyone kept saying I was doing great, I ended up pushing for over an 1.5 hours before little Dylan finally decided to come out entirely!

They immediately put him on my chest and took his vitals while he was still with me! They took him away after I don't know how long -- to take his weight and length and do the Apgar rating.

He ended up scoring 9 out of 10 on the Apgar (1 point off for not having pink toes and fingers)!

When they gave him back to me, I was able to try to get him to latch for the first time...and he did!

He was the sweetest thing on earth. All 6 lbs. 5.6 oz and 20 inches of him!

Even though we were all exhausted, I couldn't sleep.

Cindy and Heather both left around 2am, I think. Because I had a temperature of 101F and the baby's heart rate was elevated at some point during delivery, Tom and the nurse took Dylan to the nursery for a blood draw to check for infection. I waited for the nurse to return so she could help me pee (bye bye modesty) and to tell me a little more about my stitches and healing process. While we did that, another nurse changed the mattress on my bed.

Then, finally, around 4am, we were able to sleep. We parked the bassinet just beside the bed and I slept with my arm draped over the edge so I could keep a hand on Dylan.

After that initial neonatal slumber, he never slept in the bassinet -- he either slept in my arms or Tom's.

The next day, we got visits from mom and Heather, Assaf and Taliana and David. Dylan got an IV for antiobiotics to ward off any potential infections from my high temp, etc.

He seemed to be eating and he was pooping like a champ, but when it came to discharge day, he had a bilirubin level of 23.3, 0.7 away from requiring a blood exchange transfusion. He was immediately whisked away and put on another IV and we were told he needed to be transferred to the neonatal ICU over at Dominican.

We were crushed and worried beyond belief.

Mom skipped Jason's graduation and came up to be with us. I also called Heather to get some help packing up the room at Sutter.

I was frantic.

I was thinking about getting to the ICU ASAP and also thinking about the logistics of getting our crap home and into the fridge, feeding myself and pumping breastmilk to protect my milk supply, and on and on.

Tom had gone on to Dominican to stay with Dylan -- he pretty much stayed at his cribside the entire time.

I came and joined him in time to hear the results of the latest bili test which showed his numbers had gratefully gone down instead of up.

Still, he needed to stay on the lights with a mask over his eyes -- Tom and I would talk to him and he would turn towards us, but he couldn't see us. We pretty much stayed by his side the entire 4 nights he stayed in ICU although there was one night where we went home and slept for a couple of hours.

Even though he's home now, the bili scare isn't entirely gone yet. We went for a follow-up appointment on Sunday and found that his bili level was back up to 16.9 and if it rose to 18 by the next day, the doctor was going to re-admit him into the ICU. He had us feed him mostly formula. The next day, the bili level went down to 15.9 and we were asked to eliminate breastmilk for 24 hours to determine if it was breastmilk jaundice. The following day, the number was down to 14.6. We went to see Dylan's pediatrician who said the bili number was not down significantly enough without breastmilk so she recommended we resume breastfeeding and we're to have yet another blood draw on Friday to check his levels once again.

Dylan seems to be nursing ok, but it's hard to determine just how much he's really taking in.

We're so happy to have little Dylan in the world, but boy do I wish I didn't have to worry about his bili level and the amount of food he's taking in. In every other respect, he's so healthy!

homestreeeetch

I'm quickly grabbing a bite to eat here at home before I head back to the workplace.

Just got back from my first "weekly" doctor's appointment and it's all good news. The baby's heart rate is at 150 and my blood pressure was at a stunningly low 90/62. My weight has stayed at 142 (from 2 weeks ago). The doctor doesn't seem concerned about anything right now...and, also, I got the results of the strep test -- negative, meaning I won't have to have antibiotics when we deliver! I'm happy about that...the fewer "interventions" we have, the better....

Today, I asked the doctor if she had any guesses as to how big the baby might be when we deliver, and she says, zyg will probably come out in the 6-7lb. range. Zyg's size is not huge, she says, but zyg will definitely be a healthy baby...!

Wow. I called Tom to give him the update and he laughed and said, "so no signs of gigantism, huh??". Nope. I only *feel* that it sometimes could be true...!

Anyway, overall, I'm happy...and feeling like quite the emotional fish today.

Today is a day where I'm very excited about being able to hold zyggy soon!

gee! diapers!

Tom and I just got our shipment of gDiapers yesterday. I never thought I'd be so excited about diapers, but when we pulled the pants out of the starter kit and saw how wee they were, we immediately pictured little zyg in 'em and couldn't help but giggle a li'l!

So, if you don't know what gDiapers are, they're basically a flushable alternative to disposable diapers -- the pee diapers can actually be composted. Contents of poopy diapers, and the flushable liner itself, both just go down the toilet...

We're using these as a supplement to the Tiny Tots cloth diaper service, so when we're not at home or whatever, we can use the gDiapers instead of carrying around soiled cloth diapers!!!

We decided against disposables, not just because of the landfill issue, but also because it is apparently easier to potty train kids in cloth diapers, and they are less likely to develop diaper rash. Both of these are related to the fact that baby and parent will more quickly be aware of wetness if the kid is in cloth.

Other health reasons (e.g,. disposable diapers potentially triggering asthma) and compelling advantages (PDF) to using cloth are noted on the Tiny Tots site.

peanut shells v. Baby Bjorns (why wear your baby?)

We attended our second Infant Care class last night and learned about the Five S's...These are the 5 S-things you can do to trigger your baby's calming reflex which will get them to stop howling...! These are:

• swaddling
• side position
• shushing
• swinging
• and sucking

All of these things are to help simulate the environment in the womb -- the tight-fitting space, the noise (shushing) in the womb, the rocking movement of the mother in action, etc. etc.

I can only hope to perfect this guy's (in the video) technique!

We also learned a bit more about breast feeding and what good "suction" looks like.

And, lastly, we learned that the Baby Bjorn isn't really ergonomically correct for babies or for parents!

The alternatives are pouches (like the peanut shell), ring slings and wraps.

We are considering getting a peanut shell for when the baby is wee and then we'll shift into using the Baby Bjorn after a few months (a fella in our class mentioned that he loved the Baby Bjorn for when his baby was able to face forward...).

One of the things that appeals to me about the Peanut Shell is that I can actually breast feed with it on...and, of course, the idea that it might be better/more comfortable for little zyg....

baby care class #4 and infant care class #1

The last birthing class we attended, we learned a whole lot about pain management during labor. Ugh. I have decided that I'd like to try going through this first birth without any drugs. It may sound nuts to some people (and I don't really think there's any shame in asking for an epidural, etc.), but it's the purist in me that's driving the decision -- I'd like to experience a natural birth just so I fully understand what it's about....

That said, though, I think I will still have a clause in the birthing plan that stipulates that I *may* ask for drugs if I just can't take it anymore.

And, I'll tell ya, the whole labor thing does seem daunting indeed! I still very fortunate to have the option of having it at Sutter, though.

They seem to offer a lot of alternatives for women -- birthing stools, squatting bars, jacuzzi tubs for water births, etc., and they seem to really put an emphasis on the woman's comfort and desires.

I feel reassured, I think, in the belief that they will want to comply with my wishes once I'm there!

Anyway, we also started our breastfeeding and infant care class this past week.

The first lessons here were on diapering -- we could practice with cloth or disposable diapers -- and on how to swaddle the baby. We watched a lot of videos on the importance of touch and baby massage...how picking up a baby when it cries is not an "indulgent" act that will "spoil" the child, and how sleeping with the child can be a very healthy thing, providing you don't have tons of bedding or a super cushy bed and you're not on any medication that will dull your alertness.

Much of what we heard in class pretty much (happily) concurred with what I've read in Our Babies, Ourselves which contrasts the western model of individualism and independence to childrearing practices in other parts of the world (definitely worth reading).